Monday, February 23, 2009
The Greatest Place Ever
In our utopia no one gets sick. No one gets a C on their papers. No one cries. Instead of crying there is singing and writing poetry.
The rulers of the utopia are Jordan and Hallie, and they live in a pineapple above the sea. We are fed grapes by beautiful people wearing bathing suits. We lie in hammocks all day and drink coconut milk.
All the people of the utopia have fun every day. They laugh joyously. Every time a citizen of the utopia laughs, a fairy is born. Every gets a fairy as a pet. The fairies grant everyone 3 wishes but you can wish for a million more if you want.
Citizens of the utopia get to pick from a bunch of different jobs including: princess, ice cream man, genie, pillsbury dough boy, and cookie master. For each of these jobs you get paid a million dollars an hour, but it doesn't matter because everything is free anyway.
The weather is always warm. There are rainbows every day. The forecast is 100 percent joy every day with a 1 percent chance of ecstasy. It is always the weekend.
In the evening all the citizens gather around Hallie and Jordan to hear us perform in our poetry band. They boy down to us as we express our souls creatively. They clap forever and give us free money, jewels, lollipops, and more money.
A bunch of famous people live there including Regina Spektor, Barack Obama, Kate Winslet, Maryl Streep, Mickey Rourke, Kiera Knightly, and the Beatles. When you see one of these people you can ask them to entertain you and they'll do it every time as many times are you want. All the people are beautiful there.
Everyone is friendly and compliments each other's poetry bands. Everyone is in a poetry band. Instead of waving at each other we give high fives and make outs. Instead of saying hi we say "I love you." Instead of saying goodbye we hug it out for five minutes.
The rules of our utopia are that you can't be mean, you can't not have fun, and you must do your best every day. You never grow up. There's unlimited ice cream. Everyone can fly. Magical creatures exist here and you can play with them whenever.
The natural plants and animals here are also magic. The plants can make you have super powers if you eat them or smell them. The animals are all furry and domesticated and you don't even have to take care of them. They clean up their own droppings and say "how do you do" when they pass you on the street. The streets are made of Fritos. All the fountains are made of chocolate and squirt chocolate. In the summer time you can jump in. It is always summer time so you can always jump in. And frolic.
You can walk on clouds here. You can eat them too because they're cotton candy. You can take pictures by blinking. You don't forget anything. There are plenty of acting jobs. Everyone can be the star of every production every time especially Hallie.
Also you can teleport.
Also you don't have to take care of yourself. Robots take care of you. They make you food and brush your teeth and give you baths in bubbly baths in geysers.
There is a all you can eat feast every meal. They have every food you ever wanted and more. There are nightly food fights and you don't even have to clean up the robots do it. You don't have to go to school. You can eat books to get their knowledge. The books taste like candy. You can never get too smart for your own good because everyone must also eat humble pie. No one gets fat.
You live forever and are never sad ever. This is the best place ever why aren't we there right now?