What are We

Here's the deal.

Jake and I have a lot of things in common:

1. We both have Jew blood.
2. We are both writers.
3. We have a very similar sense of humor.
4. We both have existential crises in the room.
5. Both our fathers were in the music biz.
6. We both play alto saxophone
7. We were both in marching band.
8. We both wear glasses at least some of the time.
9. We both like to read.
10. We are both from New York (845!)

Also we do a lot of things together:

1. We shower at the same time
2. We urinate at the same time
3. We have matching sweaters from the Banana Republic
4. We have matching Santa Hats
5. We write articles together under a very Jewy pseudonym
6. Pillow talk every night
7. Listen to MGMT on vinyl
8. We live in the same room.
9. I guess we wear face masks together
10. We watch the West Wing together.

So what are we? I dunno. Sumthing special. In conclusion, this is Jakemyroommate.

Jake Sorgz My Roomate

Things Jake has said, or says a lot, are:

1. "What the ass!"
2. "Don't worry about it." (in reference to anything I want to know)
3. "Imma fill you in" (followed by giggle)
4. "RAM JAM!!!"
5. "SHUT! UP! SHUDDUP!"
6. "EASY!"
7. "FUCKIN THING SUCKS!"
8. "Let's call a spade a spade."



Some fun facts about Jake my roommate:

1. Jake uses the elliptical machine.
2. Jake is a Jew.
3. Jake is Jewish.
4. Jake has a record player (but he is NOT a hipster)
5. Jake wears earplugs because he thinks they look cool
6. Jake engages in pillow talk with me every night.
7. Jake makes coffee every morning.
8. Jake is very sophisticated
9. Jake is very mysterious
10. Jake throws shoes at me.
11. Jake reads books and shit
12. Jake likes to go to the bathroom at the same time as me
13. Jake is strongly opposed to anyone talking into or from the stalls in the bathroom.
14. Jake is pretty tidy.
15. Jake relates to the character Josh from the West Wing
16. Jake has a cool hat. It is called a fedora, according to Jake.
17. Jake is a very good person; he volunteers and shit
18. Jake has shot glasses that have famous writers on them
19. Jake likes to emphasize the h before the w. (e.g. "The Two HWAT?!")
20. Jake is maybe a socialist

Here is a picture of Jake the Snake. We live together.



Jake is neutral about poop while I am very strongly anti-poop. But we still manage to live happily with one another in a very tiny space, except for when he gets angry and starts throwing things.

In conclusion, this is Jake my roommate.