She said
"Let's go to
my place"
He said
"Can we
play Scrabble?"
Diamonds are a
girl's best friend.
I, unfortunately,
have always been a
diamond.
"Love poems are
so corny," she said.
"Yeah, totally," he said,
stuffing a love poem
back into his pocket.
Pillow talk, for me,
has always meant
talking to my pillow.
He said,
"What do you
want to do?"
She said
"I don't know
what do you want
to do?"
Nine months later
there was a baby.
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
I have a lot of feelings
NOTE: I think it's obvious that this should not be taken seriously, but just in case, so you know, you should not take this seriously. It is a farce.
The Comedy
By Jordan
Detritus proliferation
wrapped up in a garbage heap
plagued by the mementos of a
civilized oblivion
a person is a survivor of this
who has forgotten his trauma,
a vain blue note at the
end of a symphony that
no one will ever hear
and only lonely comrades will mourn
the devastating causality
of birth, death and the
tragedy in between,
meaninglessness trapped in a
suicide hurricane eye madly repeating
a vaudeville act of a single
desperate comic, his skin the
color of death, his soul acid
a desperate fraud, grinning through
the gruesome anguish of a lie
played on repeat for eternity
in a universe devoid of all heat
the crowd, a laughing poltergeist
knocking dishes to a dirty floor,
a vortex of lame, disparaging pantomime
sucking the last crumbs of felicity
out of a gourmet disaster
served to a starving man with no mouth
his moans are a stifled cry for a miracle
but prayers are for those with too much
imagination and prospects slim.
The Comedy
By Jordan
Detritus proliferation
wrapped up in a garbage heap
plagued by the mementos of a
civilized oblivion
a person is a survivor of this
who has forgotten his trauma,
a vain blue note at the
end of a symphony that
no one will ever hear
and only lonely comrades will mourn
the devastating causality
of birth, death and the
tragedy in between,
meaninglessness trapped in a
suicide hurricane eye madly repeating
a vaudeville act of a single
desperate comic, his skin the
color of death, his soul acid
a desperate fraud, grinning through
the gruesome anguish of a lie
played on repeat for eternity
in a universe devoid of all heat
the crowd, a laughing poltergeist
knocking dishes to a dirty floor,
a vortex of lame, disparaging pantomime
sucking the last crumbs of felicity
out of a gourmet disaster
served to a starving man with no mouth
his moans are a stifled cry for a miracle
but prayers are for those with too much
imagination and prospects slim.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Give the people what they want
She said "Hi"
He said "Hi"
She said
"This isn't
working out."
I said
"I love you"
She said
"You've got a
thing in your
teeth right
there
no
there
no--
you got it"
I learned
your body
like a map--
I was always
bad with
directions.
Spooning,
I discovered,
is nothing
like
silverware.
When she
smiled the world
smiled.
When she got
in a crazy rage--
well, let's not
talk about it.
We talked until
the sun rose--
I was asleep
for the last
two hours of it
but you didn't notice.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Poems what what
Your eyes open
like flowers
close
like sunsets
cry
like waterfalls
I kissed you
like my pillow
in grade school--
I think the
pillow
liked it better
You popped
our love
like a pimple--
I still
have scars.
All is fair
in love
and beer pong.
I mounted you
like a steer,
you bucked me,
like a bronco.
I love you
like a clownfish
loves a sea anenome--
have you
not
heard of
symbiosis?
She said,
"Don't ever leave me."
He said,
"I'm just going
to the bathroom."
We danced
like no one was watching--
turns out they were.
We got embarrassed
and went back inside.
like flowers
close
like sunsets
cry
like waterfalls
I kissed you
like my pillow
in grade school--
I think the
pillow
liked it better
You popped
our love
like a pimple--
I still
have scars.
All is fair
in love
and beer pong.
I mounted you
like a steer,
you bucked me,
like a bronco.
I love you
like a clownfish
loves a sea anenome--
have you
not
heard of
symbiosis?
She said,
"Don't ever leave me."
He said,
"I'm just going
to the bathroom."
We danced
like no one was watching--
turns out they were.
We got embarrassed
and went back inside.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Poems by Me, Jordan
Sylvia-- sometimes
I think: what would
I do if you weren't
here?
Then I stop
thinking about it.
When you left I said,
"Crying is for babies."
So I acted
Like a man.
Sylvia-- your
Hair curls
Like some
Nice, curly,
Twisty thing.
Write me a poem,
she said, then
I'll break your heart.
Deal?
Or no deal?
Love is serious
business. All
transactions final.
"I'll never
love another,"
he said,
lying to himself.
He leaned in
For a kiss
She leaned in
For the salt shaker.
"You are so
sweet and loveable,"
she said.
"You remind me
of my dog."
You are as
beautiful as
a flower
and as
promiscuous.
I want to
know you biblically
Let's read
the Bible
together.
My heart
is in
your hands.
Slimy,
isn't it?
Love is a puzzle--
What's a twelve letter word for
Unbearable pain?
I think: what would
I do if you weren't
here?
Then I stop
thinking about it.
When you left I said,
"Crying is for babies."
So I acted
Like a man.
Sylvia-- your
Hair curls
Like some
Nice, curly,
Twisty thing.
Write me a poem,
she said, then
I'll break your heart.
Deal?
Or no deal?
Love is serious
business. All
transactions final.
"I'll never
love another,"
he said,
lying to himself.
He leaned in
For a kiss
She leaned in
For the salt shaker.
"You are so
sweet and loveable,"
she said.
"You remind me
of my dog."
You are as
beautiful as
a flower
and as
promiscuous.
I want to
know you biblically
Let's read
the Bible
together.
My heart
is in
your hands.
Slimy,
isn't it?
Love is a puzzle--
What's a twelve letter word for
Unbearable pain?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Final Chapter of The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Chapter X: Maria Will & Grace
Go. Play. Proceed.
Re-birth.
Maria.
Take your cleaning rag
And wipe it over me
Baptize me in your Clorox
I submit to your memory.
We loved like no one has loved
And I lost like no one has lost.
And you Arthured like no one has Arhtured.
Today I live like no one has lived.
A new dawn, the world opens to me like an oyster
The pearl, I know, is not what it seems.
It is not perfect.
But it shines like nothing else.
It shines like the sun
It shines like a blade
It shines like your eyes.
Maria, Will & Grace.
Goodbye………..
Daddy?
End
Go. Play. Proceed.
Re-birth.
Maria.
Take your cleaning rag
And wipe it over me
Baptize me in your Clorox
I submit to your memory.
We loved like no one has loved
And I lost like no one has lost.
And you Arthured like no one has Arhtured.
Today I live like no one has lived.
A new dawn, the world opens to me like an oyster
The pearl, I know, is not what it seems.
It is not perfect.
But it shines like nothing else.
It shines like the sun
It shines like a blade
It shines like your eyes.
Maria, Will & Grace.
Goodbye………..
Daddy?
End
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Chapter IX: Hit me Daddy one more time. Oh baby baby.
Darkness consumes me
That dress becomes you
But that was so long ago
And now it’s over.
I wallow in the sad laundry room of your disdain
Whirl away washing machine!
You can whirl away the grass stains
The blood stains
The tear stains
The ravioli stains—
But never the pain stains.
No, not even Tide could tidy that mess.
That’s there to stay
That’s there to—
Lonliness
I find myself alone
Wrapped up in memories
Memories that enthrall me
Memories that enflower me
Memories that devour me—
The way I devoured your lips
In the hall pantry
Next to the Cheez-its
Below the Oreos
On top of the Gushers
I gushered all over
And you had to clean it up.
What will we tell Daddy?
Daddy.
That dark cloud of a man
That hovers above me
Scattered showers of a nightmare throughout the day
Misery storms in the evening
100 percent chance of abuse
1 percent chance of survival.
Daddy, look at me now!
A hollow shell of a man just like you!
A macaroni noodle of a man if you will!
The cheese is powder
And I threw it away by accident.
Why can’t I throw YOU away?
Why can’t I—
Pour favor Maria, save my soul
Save my tiles from collecting mildew
Save my heart from collecting dust.
Save my heart—
The window beckons me
Like you beckoned me,
Bending over the bathroom floor
In your homemade frock.
The frock of your temptation
The frock of your seduction
The frock of your sweet bossoms
The frock of your firm gluteus—
The noose whispers to me
Like you whispered to me
Softly into my ear like a secret
Softly into my brain like a subliminal message
Softly into my heart like angina
“El gato es en tu pantolones”
I didn’t know what it meant
I didn’t know—
I’m still not really sure.
But I know this, Maria.
From the smoldering ashes of despair
I will rise like a phoenix
I will rise like a person on a ladder
I will rise like a butter-crème soufflé.
The recipe is not quite right,
But it is mine.
And as sure as I know
That 1 cup of strength
2 tablespoons of redemption
3 teaspoons of self-worth
and a dash of peprica
Can mend a broken heart,
I am sure that one day
This man will be the cheesiest
Noodle of Easy Mac
This world
Has ever tasted.
And it will say,
Mmmmm.
End.
Darkness consumes me
That dress becomes you
But that was so long ago
And now it’s over.
I wallow in the sad laundry room of your disdain
Whirl away washing machine!
You can whirl away the grass stains
The blood stains
The tear stains
The ravioli stains—
But never the pain stains.
No, not even Tide could tidy that mess.
That’s there to stay
That’s there to—
Lonliness
I find myself alone
Wrapped up in memories
Memories that enthrall me
Memories that enflower me
Memories that devour me—
The way I devoured your lips
In the hall pantry
Next to the Cheez-its
Below the Oreos
On top of the Gushers
I gushered all over
And you had to clean it up.
What will we tell Daddy?
Daddy.
That dark cloud of a man
That hovers above me
Scattered showers of a nightmare throughout the day
Misery storms in the evening
100 percent chance of abuse
1 percent chance of survival.
Daddy, look at me now!
A hollow shell of a man just like you!
A macaroni noodle of a man if you will!
The cheese is powder
And I threw it away by accident.
Why can’t I throw YOU away?
Why can’t I—
Pour favor Maria, save my soul
Save my tiles from collecting mildew
Save my heart from collecting dust.
Save my heart—
The window beckons me
Like you beckoned me,
Bending over the bathroom floor
In your homemade frock.
The frock of your temptation
The frock of your seduction
The frock of your sweet bossoms
The frock of your firm gluteus—
The noose whispers to me
Like you whispered to me
Softly into my ear like a secret
Softly into my brain like a subliminal message
Softly into my heart like angina
“El gato es en tu pantolones”
I didn’t know what it meant
I didn’t know—
I’m still not really sure.
But I know this, Maria.
From the smoldering ashes of despair
I will rise like a phoenix
I will rise like a person on a ladder
I will rise like a butter-crème soufflé.
The recipe is not quite right,
But it is mine.
And as sure as I know
That 1 cup of strength
2 tablespoons of redemption
3 teaspoons of self-worth
and a dash of peprica
Can mend a broken heart,
I am sure that one day
This man will be the cheesiest
Noodle of Easy Mac
This world
Has ever tasted.
And it will say,
Mmmmm.
End.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Chapter VIII: Counterculture. Counterattack. Attack on my soul.
Motion.
Emotion.
Your love is a runaway train
Your hate is a plane going nowhere
My pain is a scooter.
Let’s go back to better days.
Picking daisies in the sunshine
Lieing in the grass
There’s a bug in your hair
There’s love in the air
There’s love in—
Daddy roasting hotdogs on the grill
The way he handled that meat
If only he had been so tender with me
If only—
Why the long face Daddy?
Why the big belt Daddy?
Why that choice of facial hair Daddy?
Who’s my real Daddy, Daddy?
Daddy?
I cant’ sleep at night
The sound of an ancient vroom
The smell of fresh cut grass
The taste of your lips—
Maria…
Maria?
Maria!
Perhaps if we had sat two feet to the right
If you had moved your two feet from the blade
Would you still have feet to move?
If you did…would you dance?
Now, it’s just a solo number
Me, moving sadly to the music
The beat of my longing
The rhythm of my desire
The tempo of my passion
The karaoke of compromise
Sorrow!
Such a sweet word
Such a sour word
A little tangy
A little tango
The tango inside my heart
The tango we’ll never dance Maria
The tango we’ll never—
Mira! Ten Cuidado!
Can’t you hear the vroom approaching?
Can’t you smell the grass burning?
Can’t you feel our love dying?
Can’t you feel the scar deepening?
Maria.
If I could I’d paint you a portrait of this day
The yellow of the sun
The green of the trees
The white of the fluffy clouds
The RED of the blood as it splatters
The BLUE of your tears
The MAHOGANY of the hot dogs
The ORANGE of that guy’s shirt who was just hanging out near us I don’t even know who he is—
But I can’t Maria.
My fingers aren’t what they used to be.
They aren’t.
They were chopped off in father’s angry buzzsaw
Useless—like a frankfurter
With no Frank.
End.
Motion.
Emotion.
Your love is a runaway train
Your hate is a plane going nowhere
My pain is a scooter.
Let’s go back to better days.
Picking daisies in the sunshine
Lieing in the grass
There’s a bug in your hair
There’s love in the air
There’s love in—
Daddy roasting hotdogs on the grill
The way he handled that meat
If only he had been so tender with me
If only—
Why the long face Daddy?
Why the big belt Daddy?
Why that choice of facial hair Daddy?
Who’s my real Daddy, Daddy?
Daddy?
I cant’ sleep at night
The sound of an ancient vroom
The smell of fresh cut grass
The taste of your lips—
Maria…
Maria?
Maria!
Perhaps if we had sat two feet to the right
If you had moved your two feet from the blade
Would you still have feet to move?
If you did…would you dance?
Now, it’s just a solo number
Me, moving sadly to the music
The beat of my longing
The rhythm of my desire
The tempo of my passion
The karaoke of compromise
Sorrow!
Such a sweet word
Such a sour word
A little tangy
A little tango
The tango inside my heart
The tango we’ll never dance Maria
The tango we’ll never—
Mira! Ten Cuidado!
Can’t you hear the vroom approaching?
Can’t you smell the grass burning?
Can’t you feel our love dying?
Can’t you feel the scar deepening?
Maria.
If I could I’d paint you a portrait of this day
The yellow of the sun
The green of the trees
The white of the fluffy clouds
The RED of the blood as it splatters
The BLUE of your tears
The MAHOGANY of the hot dogs
The ORANGE of that guy’s shirt who was just hanging out near us I don’t even know who he is—
But I can’t Maria.
My fingers aren’t what they used to be.
They aren’t.
They were chopped off in father’s angry buzzsaw
Useless—like a frankfurter
With no Frank.
End.
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
ACT VII: Muscles. Spasm. Splatum. Splat. Splatchula. Blech.
If I could
I’d write you a poet tree
And it would bear sweet sonnet fruits
It would bear you a big blue house
It would bear you—
Smack me across the brain
Smear my love around the carpet
But don’t make too much of a mess
Maria will be furious
Maria will be—
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pale of lies
To fetch a pale of sighs
To fetch a pale of—
Gargoyles.
Smile during the day
But do they cry at night?
Cry—
Like me.
Am I a gargoyle?
Like me.
Am I hideous?
Like me.
Am I glorious?
Like—
I’m a statue.
You’re a statue.
Maria broke the statue when she cleaned that morning
There was retribution
There was contraception
There was—
Another one.
She saw his face
See saw his playground
She saw the sea saw of his deception
The monkey bars of his hate
The jungle gym of his confusion
The sand box of lust
That little horse you know that goes back and—
You know the one.
Am I the one?
Maybe you always knew
Maybe you just discovered
The discovery channel
Destination: Europe
Characters: Evette, Maria, Arthur, me.
Not the aardvark.
Don’t be confused.
Don’t be—
It’s not meant to be
But when you smiled at me and you said
“I broke your statue senior”
Really you broke my corison
You didn’t even have it then
But actually you did
How could you break something that’s not yours?
How could you lose something when you never even knew where it was in the first place?
How could you just walk away, leave without a trace?
And how could you forget your reading glasses.
You’re blind without them.
I’m blind without you.
You’re deaf without him.
We’re paralyzed without each other.
It’s a long walk to the bathroom.
It’s a long walk to the—
E X P L O S I O N
In my loins
E X P L O S I O N
In my eyes
E X P L O S I O N
In my solaplexis
E X P L O—
If I could I’d write you a poet tree
If I could I’d chop you a rhyming bush
If I could I’d—
Happy Arbor Day.
Bitch.
End.
If I could
I’d write you a poet tree
And it would bear sweet sonnet fruits
It would bear you a big blue house
It would bear you—
Smack me across the brain
Smear my love around the carpet
But don’t make too much of a mess
Maria will be furious
Maria will be—
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pale of lies
To fetch a pale of sighs
To fetch a pale of—
Gargoyles.
Smile during the day
But do they cry at night?
Cry—
Like me.
Am I a gargoyle?
Like me.
Am I hideous?
Like me.
Am I glorious?
Like—
I’m a statue.
You’re a statue.
Maria broke the statue when she cleaned that morning
There was retribution
There was contraception
There was—
Another one.
She saw his face
See saw his playground
She saw the sea saw of his deception
The monkey bars of his hate
The jungle gym of his confusion
The sand box of lust
That little horse you know that goes back and—
You know the one.
Am I the one?
Maybe you always knew
Maybe you just discovered
The discovery channel
Destination: Europe
Characters: Evette, Maria, Arthur, me.
Not the aardvark.
Don’t be confused.
Don’t be—
It’s not meant to be
But when you smiled at me and you said
“I broke your statue senior”
Really you broke my corison
You didn’t even have it then
But actually you did
How could you break something that’s not yours?
How could you lose something when you never even knew where it was in the first place?
How could you just walk away, leave without a trace?
And how could you forget your reading glasses.
You’re blind without them.
I’m blind without you.
You’re deaf without him.
We’re paralyzed without each other.
It’s a long walk to the bathroom.
It’s a long walk to the—
E X P L O S I O N
In my loins
E X P L O S I O N
In my eyes
E X P L O S I O N
In my solaplexis
E X P L O—
If I could I’d write you a poet tree
If I could I’d chop you a rhyming bush
If I could I’d—
Happy Arbor Day.
Bitch.
End.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Act VI: Working title erking bible
Dear God
Are you listening
It’s me lonliness
It’s me dispair
It’s me—
We haven’t talked in some time
We haven’t talked in some rhyme
You talk to Dr. Seuss
But I’m lonely—
Dear Baby Jesus
What would you do
If you had my lonely heart
If you had a pacifier
Would you become a pacifist
Would you stop crying
Would you stop lying
Would you stop dying
Would you stop—
Trying.
Stop.
Stop the press.
Front page news.
Actually page 6.
It’s a little blurb
Called my existence
Did you happen to catch it?
Baby Jesus?
Did you?
I bet you can’t even fuckin read
You stupid baby
Go cry to mommy…
Dear Santa
All I want for Christmas
Is my two front childhood BACK
Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
Let’s not make this difficult
I’ve got an eternal itch
Scratch me
Scratch away the fear
Scratch away the doubt
Scratch away the—
Do not pass go
Do not collect two hundred dollars
Do not
DO NOT
D.O.N.O.T.
Donut
Dunkin Donuts
Double D’s—
MARIA!
You always made life shine
Cause you used the polish
Like asked you
Actually I told you.
You always listened.
I think.
But then.
The racehorse.
The lamplight.
The pebble you kicked
With your shoe of gold
Your heart of iron.
The sound of Geetar
Playing your funeral march.
The oboe
Playing the sound of your dead duck
The hoboe
That chased you asking for coins
Asking for forgiveness
Asking for—
Dear Evette,
I miss you.
Come back to me.
Come back to Maria.
Cordially/Sincerely,
You know.
End.
Dear God
Are you listening
It’s me lonliness
It’s me dispair
It’s me—
We haven’t talked in some time
We haven’t talked in some rhyme
You talk to Dr. Seuss
But I’m lonely—
Dear Baby Jesus
What would you do
If you had my lonely heart
If you had a pacifier
Would you become a pacifist
Would you stop crying
Would you stop lying
Would you stop dying
Would you stop—
Trying.
Stop.
Stop the press.
Front page news.
Actually page 6.
It’s a little blurb
Called my existence
Did you happen to catch it?
Baby Jesus?
Did you?
I bet you can’t even fuckin read
You stupid baby
Go cry to mommy…
Dear Santa
All I want for Christmas
Is my two front childhood BACK
Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
Let’s not make this difficult
I’ve got an eternal itch
Scratch me
Scratch away the fear
Scratch away the doubt
Scratch away the—
Do not pass go
Do not collect two hundred dollars
Do not
DO NOT
D.O.N.O.T.
Donut
Dunkin Donuts
Double D’s—
MARIA!
You always made life shine
Cause you used the polish
Like asked you
Actually I told you.
You always listened.
I think.
But then.
The racehorse.
The lamplight.
The pebble you kicked
With your shoe of gold
Your heart of iron.
The sound of Geetar
Playing your funeral march.
The oboe
Playing the sound of your dead duck
The hoboe
That chased you asking for coins
Asking for forgiveness
Asking for—
Dear Evette,
I miss you.
Come back to me.
Come back to Maria.
Cordially/Sincerely,
You know.
End.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
ACT V: Panama Canal Panama Hat Panama
I woke up this morning
And it was all downhill from there
A double black diamond ski slope
Danger—untracked wilderness
Untrecked star treck
Untrecked—
A triple cream late
From a lonely cashier
Life is a sad cash register
Dispensing lies
Dispensing truths
Dispensing Dispensing Dipsensing
Dispensing—
Pink bubble gum
Smack it across your lips
Blow
Says Daddy
Teaching me to make beautiful bubbles
Teaching me to make beautiful pain
My beautiful rain
It’s a downpour
Of shame
It’s a downpour
Of blame
It’s a downpour of—
Who’s there?
What are the voices?
What do you want?
What’s that you say?
What?
Daddy?
Da—
Play me sweet tenderness
From your salty uke
From your salty—
Rough tides
Rough rides
The tide is high
And I’m holding on
For dear life
For dear wife
For dear—
Evette!
Too long have I pondered the day
You took off with Maria
To a Spanish unknown
Without a glance backwards
Without a care for me
Without your reading glasses
Without—
LONGING.
LONG.
ONGING.
GING.
GING GONG.
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD
BLING BLONG THE BLITCH IS BLED
THE BLITCH IS—
The bitch is Fred!
Fred you bastard!
Pack up your things
And leave this place behind you
Go find Maria and Evette
They’ll be waiting at the Green Dragon Inn
Fuck them silly
Fuck them like a clown
Fuck them like there’s no tomorrow
And no yesterday
Fuck them like you don’t know when the fuck you are
Fuck—
Fuck Lionel Richie
Fuck The Beejies
Fuck Bee hives
Fuck Mozilla Firefox
Fuck War
Fuck Peace
Fuck life
Fuck death
Fuck apples
Fuck oranges
Fuck tendons
Fuck bones
Fuck marijuana
Fuck abstinence
Fuck sex education
Fuck AIDS relief
Fuck virginity
Fuck the state of Virginia
And its governor
Fuck luck
Fuck duck
Fuck the dustbuster
It could never clean my soul
It could never clean my—
I woke up this morning
And I’ve been facing an uphill battle
I’ve been slipping backwards
Into a white swirly abyss
With rainbow sprinkles
Yum.
Yum.
Ew.
It’s all been downhill from there.
End.
I woke up this morning
And it was all downhill from there
A double black diamond ski slope
Danger—untracked wilderness
Untrecked star treck
Untrecked—
A triple cream late
From a lonely cashier
Life is a sad cash register
Dispensing lies
Dispensing truths
Dispensing Dispensing Dipsensing
Dispensing—
Pink bubble gum
Smack it across your lips
Blow
Says Daddy
Teaching me to make beautiful bubbles
Teaching me to make beautiful pain
My beautiful rain
It’s a downpour
Of shame
It’s a downpour
Of blame
It’s a downpour of—
Who’s there?
What are the voices?
What do you want?
What’s that you say?
What?
Daddy?
Da—
Play me sweet tenderness
From your salty uke
From your salty—
Rough tides
Rough rides
The tide is high
And I’m holding on
For dear life
For dear wife
For dear—
Evette!
Too long have I pondered the day
You took off with Maria
To a Spanish unknown
Without a glance backwards
Without a care for me
Without your reading glasses
Without—
LONGING.
LONG.
ONGING.
GING.
GING GONG.
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD
BLING BLONG THE BLITCH IS BLED
THE BLITCH IS—
The bitch is Fred!
Fred you bastard!
Pack up your things
And leave this place behind you
Go find Maria and Evette
They’ll be waiting at the Green Dragon Inn
Fuck them silly
Fuck them like a clown
Fuck them like there’s no tomorrow
And no yesterday
Fuck them like you don’t know when the fuck you are
Fuck—
Fuck Lionel Richie
Fuck The Beejies
Fuck Bee hives
Fuck Mozilla Firefox
Fuck War
Fuck Peace
Fuck life
Fuck death
Fuck apples
Fuck oranges
Fuck tendons
Fuck bones
Fuck marijuana
Fuck abstinence
Fuck sex education
Fuck AIDS relief
Fuck virginity
Fuck the state of Virginia
And its governor
Fuck luck
Fuck duck
Fuck the dustbuster
It could never clean my soul
It could never clean my—
I woke up this morning
And I’ve been facing an uphill battle
I’ve been slipping backwards
Into a white swirly abyss
With rainbow sprinkles
Yum.
Yum.
Ew.
It’s all been downhill from there.
End.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Act IV: Gimme gimme more gimme more gimme gimme—
My heart:
A user’s guide.
Crack the ribs
Take it out
Take out Chinese
Chopsticks
I’d like the Kung Pow Chicken
I’d like the Kung Pow—
Step two
String out the arteries
Eat it like spaghetti
Like Lady and the Tramp
Tramp stamp
Postage stamp
The letter carrier of my sanity
Express mail.
Fed ex.
My ex.
Evette!—
Everything gets hazy
I’m lying on the floor
Thinking about the time you
The time we
Something wasn’t right
Something wicked this way comes
Something wicked—
Pills pills pills
Sleeping pills
Sinus pills
Nausia heartbearn indigestion
Nausia hearbearn—
My heart is a sun
A white dwarf
You left me for that white dwarf
You could have had a blue giant
You could have had a—
Hey there space cadet
You’re lost in that asteroid belt—
Belt?
Daddy?
I’ll give you the coordinates
The stratosphere of my solarplexis—
Solarsexist
Touchdown
Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
Juan—
Juan Carlo
Your luscious Spanish conquistador
He raped my tribe
He scorched my earth
He tickled my fancy.
Chief running bull?
Where are you?
And where are my pants?
where are my—
Stream of conciousness
Pond of lusciosness
River of hopelessness—
The Rio Grande
You and Juan Carlo in my grandfather’s fishing rig
You could have left the nets
I cant’ see how you forgot—
The salmon smolders
Pink. Ripe. Bloody.
Like our love
Like our—
User’s guide to a broken heart
Dial 911
It’s an emergency
Do with it what you will just
Make it better
Make it better
Make i t—
A user’s guy
To your heart.
End.
My heart:
A user’s guide.
Crack the ribs
Take it out
Take out Chinese
Chopsticks
I’d like the Kung Pow Chicken
I’d like the Kung Pow—
Step two
String out the arteries
Eat it like spaghetti
Like Lady and the Tramp
Tramp stamp
Postage stamp
The letter carrier of my sanity
Express mail.
Fed ex.
My ex.
Evette!—
Everything gets hazy
I’m lying on the floor
Thinking about the time you
The time we
Something wasn’t right
Something wicked this way comes
Something wicked—
Pills pills pills
Sleeping pills
Sinus pills
Nausia heartbearn indigestion
Nausia hearbearn—
My heart is a sun
A white dwarf
You left me for that white dwarf
You could have had a blue giant
You could have had a—
Hey there space cadet
You’re lost in that asteroid belt—
Belt?
Daddy?
I’ll give you the coordinates
The stratosphere of my solarplexis—
Solarsexist
Touchdown
Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
Juan—
Juan Carlo
Your luscious Spanish conquistador
He raped my tribe
He scorched my earth
He tickled my fancy.
Chief running bull?
Where are you?
And where are my pants?
where are my—
Stream of conciousness
Pond of lusciosness
River of hopelessness—
The Rio Grande
You and Juan Carlo in my grandfather’s fishing rig
You could have left the nets
I cant’ see how you forgot—
The salmon smolders
Pink. Ripe. Bloody.
Like our love
Like our—
User’s guide to a broken heart
Dial 911
It’s an emergency
Do with it what you will just
Make it better
Make it better
Make i t—
A user’s guy
To your heart.
End.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Act III: Smash Mouth. Smash your mouth. All that rhythm is gone.
Feathers
Dust bust the sofa of my love
Unclog the drain of my hate
Mop up the floor of my yearning.
Pay Maria and the girls before they leave.
Pay—
Doctor? Does everything look allright?
I’ve been feeling a little throbbing
A little throbbing in my
The left side of my—
Arteries.
Art. Her. Arthur.
She and Arthur ran away to=2 0Europe
And I always wondered
How could she forget her reading glasses?
Pourque?
Pourque?
Poor. Poor me. Poor poor me, poor—
Maria!
Tu tienes mi corason
Mi cora—
Stage right
My broken heart
Stage left
Your broken eyes
Left unhealed
You really should have remembered your—
Class
Turn to page three hundred ninety
Three hundred nothing
Three hundred—
I love you like the rain loves the umbrella
Like the stove loves the pie
Like the lipliner loves the lips
Like the chair loves the bottom
Like the bullet loves the flesh
Like the zombies love your flesh
Why couldn’t it have been me
Why couldn’t it have been—
Brains! Brains! Brains!
Breasts! Breasts! Breasts!
I’ve gotta pass this test
Two times two is four
Nine plus nine is eighteen
But I could be wrong
You plus me minus me plus Arthur
Equals my pain
Equals my shame
Equals my—
I know my calculus
And this is one equation I’ll never solve
But I know one is the lonliest number
The lonliest—
Loneliness is a sad flower
Blooming in a pot on your windowsill
watching you eat cocoa crispies
The cocoa crispies of your dishonesty
The fruit loops of your sin
The sugar smacks of your lies
The captain crunch of your—
All aboard
This ship’s about to sail
This love’s about to sink
The sink’s about to clog
Would somebody call Maria?
Would somebody fix this?
Fix me
Fix me.
Fix me.
Daddy?
End.
Feathers
Dust bust the sofa of my love
Unclog the drain of my hate
Mop up the floor of my yearning.
Pay Maria and the girls before they leave.
Pay—
Doctor? Does everything look allright?
I’ve been feeling a little throbbing
A little throbbing in my
The left side of my—
Arteries.
Art. Her. Arthur.
She and Arthur ran away to=2 0Europe
And I always wondered
How could she forget her reading glasses?
Pourque?
Pourque?
Poor. Poor me. Poor poor me, poor—
Maria!
Tu tienes mi corason
Mi cora—
Stage right
My broken heart
Stage left
Your broken eyes
Left unhealed
You really should have remembered your—
Class
Turn to page three hundred ninety
Three hundred nothing
Three hundred—
I love you like the rain loves the umbrella
Like the stove loves the pie
Like the lipliner loves the lips
Like the chair loves the bottom
Like the bullet loves the flesh
Like the zombies love your flesh
Why couldn’t it have been me
Why couldn’t it have been—
Brains! Brains! Brains!
Breasts! Breasts! Breasts!
I’ve gotta pass this test
Two times two is four
Nine plus nine is eighteen
But I could be wrong
You plus me minus me plus Arthur
Equals my pain
Equals my shame
Equals my—
I know my calculus
And this is one equation I’ll never solve
But I know one is the lonliest number
The lonliest—
Loneliness is a sad flower
Blooming in a pot on your windowsill
watching you eat cocoa crispies
The cocoa crispies of your dishonesty
The fruit loops of your sin
The sugar smacks of your lies
The captain crunch of your—
All aboard
This ship’s about to sail
This love’s about to sink
The sink’s about to clog
Would somebody call Maria?
Would somebody fix this?
Fix me
Fix me.
Fix me.
Daddy?
End.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Act II: The roof is on fire. We need water.
An empty room, and empty you, an empty—
Emptiness.
Is the glass half full or half—
Eleven and half. Birthday party. No one came.
Dad opens the door. Opens his buckle.
Open the tear ducts.
Shattered glass and shattered dreams
Dreams of a white Christmas dyed red
Red—the color of stop signs
The color of rudolph’s runny nose
He got punched in the kisser
Kiss her.
Softly.
Tenderly.
She ran away to Europe
She packed up my heart.
Evette—
You son of a bitch.
Lately I’ve been dreaming of a fist fight
I’m knocking Daddy to the ground and he screams
Don’t do this
I didn’t mean to—
Hurt you?
I only meant to—
I hurt myself.
I’m scrubbing the bathroom floor
But the tiles don’t want redemption
The tiles are sinners
The tiles are the tiles are the tiles are—
Tiles.
Punch the jukebox of my soul and hear a tune
Spoon feed me the chicken noodle soup of my destiny
The chicken noodle soup of my—
I want you in the back seat
I want you in the passenger seat
I want you under the hood
I want you in the truck
I want you
I want you
I want you—
Anyone have jumper cables? Let’s restart the transmission.
Let’s jump start my heart
Let’s jump start my—
Silence.
Don’t say a word
You’ve already said a world
Asia Africa North and south America
School day ditties remind me of Daddy
Remind me of leather
Remind me of long, black—
There’s a scar on my shoulder
It looks like a reindeer
It looks like a childhood lost
It looks like growing up too soon
It looks like—
There’s a treasure map that leads to
Nova Scotia
The land of my fathers
Father? When are you coming home?
I miss you.
Father?
Father.
I miss the pain
The pain in my side
The pain in my butt
The pain in my shoulder
Sweet sweet succulent—
Build a sundae of my youth
Chocolate swirl
Sprinkles
Cherry on top
Whipped cream—
Whip.
Please don’t!
Daddy!
Da—
Yummmm
Mmmmm
Strawberries!
I’m hungry
I’ve always been hungry
For soemthign you could never give me
I was born with an insatiable appetite
An unquenchable thirst—
Then I discovered Kool Aid.
I love me some Kool Aid
I love me some Daddy
Why don’t you love me?
Why don’t you love—
Love.
Love?
Love!
Love…
Love
Hand+hand+hand+heart
Plus shoulder.
Shoulder.
I still feel it.
Welts.
Welches
I’m thirsty—
I’m dreaming of a white—
You’re dreaming of a white—
White power!
Daddy?
End.
An empty room, and empty you, an empty—
Emptiness.
Is the glass half full or half—
Eleven and half. Birthday party. No one came.
Dad opens the door. Opens his buckle.
Open the tear ducts.
Shattered glass and shattered dreams
Dreams of a white Christmas dyed red
Red—the color of stop signs
The color of rudolph’s runny nose
He got punched in the kisser
Kiss her.
Softly.
Tenderly.
She ran away to Europe
She packed up my heart.
Evette—
You son of a bitch.
Lately I’ve been dreaming of a fist fight
I’m knocking Daddy to the ground and he screams
Don’t do this
I didn’t mean to—
Hurt you?
I only meant to—
I hurt myself.
I’m scrubbing the bathroom floor
But the tiles don’t want redemption
The tiles are sinners
The tiles are the tiles are the tiles are—
Tiles.
Punch the jukebox of my soul and hear a tune
Spoon feed me the chicken noodle soup of my destiny
The chicken noodle soup of my—
I want you in the back seat
I want you in the passenger seat
I want you under the hood
I want you in the truck
I want you
I want you
I want you—
Anyone have jumper cables? Let’s restart the transmission.
Let’s jump start my heart
Let’s jump start my—
Silence.
Don’t say a word
You’ve already said a world
Asia Africa North and south America
School day ditties remind me of Daddy
Remind me of leather
Remind me of long, black—
There’s a scar on my shoulder
It looks like a reindeer
It looks like a childhood lost
It looks like growing up too soon
It looks like—
There’s a treasure map that leads to
Nova Scotia
The land of my fathers
Father? When are you coming home?
I miss you.
Father?
Father.
I miss the pain
The pain in my side
The pain in my butt
The pain in my shoulder
Sweet sweet succulent—
Build a sundae of my youth
Chocolate swirl
Sprinkles
Cherry on top
Whipped cream—
Whip.
Please don’t!
Daddy!
Da—
Yummmm
Mmmmm
Strawberries!
I’m hungry
I’ve always been hungry
For soemthign you could never give me
I was born with an insatiable appetite
An unquenchable thirst—
Then I discovered Kool Aid.
I love me some Kool Aid
I love me some Daddy
Why don’t you love me?
Why don’t you love—
Love.
Love?
Love!
Love…
Love
Hand+hand+hand+heart
Plus shoulder.
Shoulder.
I still feel it.
Welts.
Welches
I’m thirsty—
I’m dreaming of a white—
You’re dreaming of a white—
White power!
Daddy?
End.
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Hallie and Jordan Masterworks
Chapter I: The sad beginning. The beginning of the end.
Creativity. Creativity. Creativity. Creati—
Stop. Go back. Rewind. Re-do.
Fifth grade birthday. Make a wish. Blow out the candles.
Blow out the—
Let the ember smolder and throw it to the ground
Fire, the antithesis of a memory
Water, ephemerality of a goldfish
Nothing is everything and I struggle to remember, struggle to re—
Laughing sideways, laughing backwards, ass backwards
Put your ass in the air.
I’ve been dreaming around the sidewalk
And=2 0I can’t seem to find the—
Someday we’ll rebuild this world
Take all the pieces and build a beautiful jigsaw of a summer day
The fire hydrants are blowing off their tops
Blowing off their—
Juxtapose this.
My hand.
Your hand.
My lips.
Your lips.
We’re trapped in your hot car and we’re—
When I think about it the rainboot of your life is the rainboot of your—
Where did I put my—
I like it when you---
Where did all the seconds go?
I woke up to a bright light and before I knew it you were on the
Touching my
Stroking the---
Morning.
A crow eats its young and crows into a crowy night
It smells like crows
It tastes like yesterday—
My tears tastes like the Atlantic
Or was it the Pacific?
Either way they’re salty
Would you like fries with that sir?
Fast food, fast friends, fast life, fast—
Slow. Slow it down. Take it all in and exhale.
Eighty eight miles an hour and we’re flying forward
Toward a great big galaxy
And all the colors are swirling there
All the kids are partying there
All the kids are kissing there
Grind up on their---
There.
Turn the page.
Mother making eggs in the kitchen
Mother making babies in the bedroom
Father making personality disorders
I can’t go back
I can’t go—
Woah what a trip
Unstick the velcrow of that winter
When our love froze over
Place it before the wood stove and let it thaw
Let it breathe
Let it—
I guess what I9 9m trying to say is I miss you
I miss everyone and everything
I’ve said too much
I’ve said too—
Creativity.
Creativity.
Crea—
End.
Creativity. Creativity. Creativity. Creati—
Stop. Go back. Rewind. Re-do.
Fifth grade birthday. Make a wish. Blow out the candles.
Blow out the—
Let the ember smolder and throw it to the ground
Fire, the antithesis of a memory
Water, ephemerality of a goldfish
Nothing is everything and I struggle to remember, struggle to re—
Laughing sideways, laughing backwards, ass backwards
Put your ass in the air.
I’ve been dreaming around the sidewalk
And=2 0I can’t seem to find the—
Someday we’ll rebuild this world
Take all the pieces and build a beautiful jigsaw of a summer day
The fire hydrants are blowing off their tops
Blowing off their—
Juxtapose this.
My hand.
Your hand.
My lips.
Your lips.
We’re trapped in your hot car and we’re—
When I think about it the rainboot of your life is the rainboot of your—
Where did I put my—
I like it when you---
Where did all the seconds go?
I woke up to a bright light and before I knew it you were on the
Touching my
Stroking the---
Morning.
A crow eats its young and crows into a crowy night
It smells like crows
It tastes like yesterday—
My tears tastes like the Atlantic
Or was it the Pacific?
Either way they’re salty
Would you like fries with that sir?
Fast food, fast friends, fast life, fast—
Slow. Slow it down. Take it all in and exhale.
Eighty eight miles an hour and we’re flying forward
Toward a great big galaxy
And all the colors are swirling there
All the kids are partying there
All the kids are kissing there
Grind up on their---
There.
Turn the page.
Mother making eggs in the kitchen
Mother making babies in the bedroom
Father making personality disorders
I can’t go back
I can’t go—
Woah what a trip
Unstick the velcrow of that winter
When our love froze over
Place it before the wood stove and let it thaw
Let it breathe
Let it—
I guess what I9 9m trying to say is I miss you
I miss everyone and everything
I’ve said too much
I’ve said too—
Creativity.
Creativity.
Crea—
End.
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