Friday, June 25, 2010
Quotes from the office
"I'm no Nancy Drew, but I detect something amiss here."- Cubicle neighbor
"I could definitely live without TV. I'd just go on Hulu!" - Elevator Rider
"I could definitely live without TV. I'd just go on Hulu!" - Elevator Rider
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Photorama
"I love this picture. It's so....boring. But not boring."- my photo teacherWell today was another day of photo and boy was it something. Oh boy.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Fiscal Year
Well, you may or may not know that I am gainfully employed this summer; regardless, I am gainfully employed.
Today I attended a very large, very important division-wide meeting. A very important slide show was presented, and some very important people in the company spoke. It was all very important.
Unfortunately, I did not know what was going on because of some cultural and/or language barriers.
For instance, what is "multi-channel distribution"? And what is a "strategic initiative"? Or how about a "workflow application"?
I was so distressed! Was I supposed to understand "proprietary accounts"? And "revenue drivers"? And "online database reference providers"? Would I ever understand?
Ultimately, I decided I would probably never feel comfortable with those terms. Nor would I ever be happy at a meeting like that one. Not a problem. I prefer words like "squeegee" and "quandary" and "ragamuffin" better anyway. A life under fluorescent lights is not for me. I'm just too silly!
Anyway all, I hope your love reaches your target audiences and that, going forward, your team-oriented approach to inter-connectivity yields organic growth. Also I hope that you are happy and good to everyone.
Today I attended a very large, very important division-wide meeting. A very important slide show was presented, and some very important people in the company spoke. It was all very important.
Unfortunately, I did not know what was going on because of some cultural and/or language barriers.
For instance, what is "multi-channel distribution"? And what is a "strategic initiative"? Or how about a "workflow application"?
I was so distressed! Was I supposed to understand "proprietary accounts"? And "revenue drivers"? And "online database reference providers"? Would I ever understand?
Ultimately, I decided I would probably never feel comfortable with those terms. Nor would I ever be happy at a meeting like that one. Not a problem. I prefer words like "squeegee" and "quandary" and "ragamuffin" better anyway. A life under fluorescent lights is not for me. I'm just too silly!
Anyway all, I hope your love reaches your target audiences and that, going forward, your team-oriented approach to inter-connectivity yields organic growth. Also I hope that you are happy and good to everyone.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
You can't say no to art
ACT XVII: Minimum Wage. Maximum Rage!
I sit.
A lonely cubicle in a lonely hall.
Lonliness pervading everything!
The cracks in the wall
The cracks in my heart!
The stacks of Mexican food on my desk from the local eatery.
I count the minutes
the minutes fly by like seconds
they fly by like hours
they fly by like those little birds in the pet shop
you know with the bright plumage and that
high little cheeping sound...you know the ones.
I am not the one.
Nor are you, compadre of the shadows,
the woman who comes to clean
in the dead of night-- dusting
like a phantom....dusting
like a ghoul....dusting
like my soul....RUSTS!
my soul is a bicycle left out in the rain
my being is a tin man begging for oil
my essence is a dog named Rusty.
Come here Rusty!
Good dog.
Bad dog!
Bad me!
Our love has been infected by tetanus!
The tetanus of your deceit.
I am twenty years old!
A man in a box.
Four walls around my spirit!
Caged like an animal in a bleak landscape
of nothingness!
The zoo of my demise!
The biodiversity of my suffering!
The balloon animal of my wretchedness!
The hippo of my hurt!
You, Maria, are the zookeeper of my countenance
and I, I am a pathetic seal at your feet.
Maria, I would do a backflip for you!
I would clap my fins together.
I would balance a ball on my nose and
like bounce it, the one with all the colors,
you know the one.
I am not the one.
I am just a man, wasting away his youth,
thinking inside the box,
I am twenty going on dead!
These halls are desolate halls,
These halls are made for walking!
These halls are made for psychological episodes!
This water cooler is draining away my joi de vivre,
These cubicles are quite...cube-like.
I do not care for them!
Nor do you care for me!
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I eat PB&J in a brown paper bag,
I watch American Idol so I can talk
to my colleagues.
I dress business casual,
more business than casual.
I use the paper shredder, which shreds
my dreams and hopes...like paper.
Maria!
You are the financial acquisitions merger
of my destiny!
You are the affiliate auditor of my
storage facility!
You are the insurance regulator
system tax deduction premium
of my affliction!
You are the social networking marketing
strategy of aloneness! Aloneity?
And we, we are low quarterly earnings.
This. This is my life!
Maria, has it cum to this?
Me, a hollow penne noodle shell of a man!
You, a butter cream sauce I will never have drizzled upon me!
NO!
I find myself running, screaming through the halls
I am making a break
The walls cannot contain my pain!
I am rising like a line on a fiscal report!
Tearing through the aisles, my dreams are on the line!
This is what it comes down to, Maria!
Just one single moment!
It is doo or die!
This is my duty!
It is a dog eat dog world!
And I intend to be the dog!
I feel like I will explode with emotion!
My body a great commotion!
Come on come on do the locomotion with me!
The locomotion of pain!
The pain in my stomach is a demotion!
I hope I get that promotion!
I cannot wait any longer!
I have finally reached my destiny!
I open the door to the bathroom,
and I sit.
This is it.
I exhale.
"Maria."
THE END
I sit.
A lonely cubicle in a lonely hall.
Lonliness pervading everything!
The cracks in the wall
The cracks in my heart!
The stacks of Mexican food on my desk from the local eatery.
I count the minutes
the minutes fly by like seconds
they fly by like hours
they fly by like those little birds in the pet shop
you know with the bright plumage and that
high little cheeping sound...you know the ones.
I am not the one.
Nor are you, compadre of the shadows,
the woman who comes to clean
in the dead of night-- dusting
like a phantom....dusting
like a ghoul....dusting
like my soul....RUSTS!
my soul is a bicycle left out in the rain
my being is a tin man begging for oil
my essence is a dog named Rusty.
Come here Rusty!
Good dog.
Bad dog!
Bad me!
Our love has been infected by tetanus!
The tetanus of your deceit.
I am twenty years old!
A man in a box.
Four walls around my spirit!
Caged like an animal in a bleak landscape
of nothingness!
The zoo of my demise!
The biodiversity of my suffering!
The balloon animal of my wretchedness!
The hippo of my hurt!
You, Maria, are the zookeeper of my countenance
and I, I am a pathetic seal at your feet.
Maria, I would do a backflip for you!
I would clap my fins together.
I would balance a ball on my nose and
like bounce it, the one with all the colors,
you know the one.
I am not the one.
I am just a man, wasting away his youth,
thinking inside the box,
I am twenty going on dead!
These halls are desolate halls,
These halls are made for walking!
These halls are made for psychological episodes!
This water cooler is draining away my joi de vivre,
These cubicles are quite...cube-like.
I do not care for them!
Nor do you care for me!
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I eat PB&J in a brown paper bag,
I watch American Idol so I can talk
to my colleagues.
I dress business casual,
more business than casual.
I use the paper shredder, which shreds
my dreams and hopes...like paper.
Maria!
You are the financial acquisitions merger
of my destiny!
You are the affiliate auditor of my
storage facility!
You are the insurance regulator
system tax deduction premium
of my affliction!
You are the social networking marketing
strategy of aloneness! Aloneity?
And we, we are low quarterly earnings.
This. This is my life!
Maria, has it cum to this?
Me, a hollow penne noodle shell of a man!
You, a butter cream sauce I will never have drizzled upon me!
NO!
I find myself running, screaming through the halls
I am making a break
The walls cannot contain my pain!
I am rising like a line on a fiscal report!
Tearing through the aisles, my dreams are on the line!
This is what it comes down to, Maria!
Just one single moment!
It is doo or die!
This is my duty!
It is a dog eat dog world!
And I intend to be the dog!
I feel like I will explode with emotion!
My body a great commotion!
Come on come on do the locomotion with me!
The locomotion of pain!
The pain in my stomach is a demotion!
I hope I get that promotion!
I cannot wait any longer!
I have finally reached my destiny!
I open the door to the bathroom,
and I sit.
This is it.
I exhale.
"Maria."
THE END
Words to Live By: Memorable sayings by Partners in Rhyme
"Foreshadowing is like foreplay for poetry." - Partners in Rhyme
"Poetry. It speaks for itself. Actually we speak for it. Buy our album."- Partners in Rhyme
"Everyone needs a poem except for retarded people who can't read."- Partners in Rhyme
"Always scream when you recite poetry. That way people can hear you."- Partners in Rhyme
"A good poem is like a good friend. Except a poem won't fucking steal your girlfriend and crash your car. Fuck you Eric!"- Partners in Rhyme
"Happiness is a warm poem."- Partners in Rhyme
"If you don't read poetry, then you are an uncultured swine who deserves death. And we mean that in the most literal sense."- Partners in Rhyme
"Fuck everyone who does not read poetry."- Partners in Rhyme
"Poetry. It speaks for itself. Actually we speak for it. Buy our album."- Partners in Rhyme
"Everyone needs a poem except for retarded people who can't read."- Partners in Rhyme
"Always scream when you recite poetry. That way people can hear you."- Partners in Rhyme
"A good poem is like a good friend. Except a poem won't fucking steal your girlfriend and crash your car. Fuck you Eric!"- Partners in Rhyme
"Happiness is a warm poem."- Partners in Rhyme
"If you don't read poetry, then you are an uncultured swine who deserves death. And we mean that in the most literal sense."- Partners in Rhyme
"Fuck everyone who does not read poetry."- Partners in Rhyme
Close but no Saget
"...so I look up and, BAM, I'm looking at Bob Saget! It looks just like him! But it's a girl version!"- guy in Washington Square Park
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The life of an artist
"I don't think I can be ironic anymore."- Girl in my photo classStay tuned for perfect moments like these in the next couple weeks. I'll be listening attentively at my weekly sessions as we critique, discuss, and verbally masturbate.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Magic Hour
The photo is messy, but you can still see what I'm talking about, right? Out there in the distance? Magic! If only we could live in this light all day...
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