Saturday, February 6, 2010

So you guys probably know how I feel about the Internet, technology, everything, etc. Basically, I think it's a waste of time. However, one of my guilty pleasures is going onto the AIM and Facebook accounts of my friends and having conversations (incognito, of course) with their friends.

I thought it would be hard-hitting to share some of these conversations with you. So that's what I'm doing. Here's the first one. I was on Joel's facebook and....


Me:
oh man
listen to this:
i feel terrible
just awful
you know you have to drink 8 oz. of water when you take a mucinex?

Girl:
hahah yeahhh lol but i never do
im trying to figure out where this story is going hahah

Me:
it's going places you never dreamed

Girl:
hahahah
well then continue

Me:
the plot thickens (much like my mucus):

Girl:
EWWW

Me:
actually that's basically it.
i feel terrible.
i miss you and all the times we had.
that's the sparknotes version

Girl:
im not really understanding this niceness thing u got going on towards me
like im confused

Me:
well the truth is this:
im a changed man
i've had some experiences
things are different

Me:
ohhh really?!

Me:
ahhhhh....nah
i changed my mind
you suck

Girl:
joelll

Me:
wait never mind
can we just start over?
remember that time
you know
when we did this fun stuff or whatever
that was the best time
why can't we do that more

Me:
ur crazyyyy

Me:
and you're beautiful

Girl:
i wojld love to do funnnn stuffff
take me away from binghamtonnnnn
tell me about nyu!!

Me:
all right but only because you're worth it
nyu
what a place
people everywhere
wearing shirts with cats on them
cats with shirts on
it's fucking wild
it's ajungle over here
i just saw a monkey

Me:
hahahhah what r u onnnn
i wanna go to ur college!

Me:
i want to go to your pants. wait no. i want to go to your college.

Girl:
do u ever see melissa

Me:
who's melissa? yeah i see her
what's with the 9th degree?

Girl:
what do u mean

Me:
oh it's just a bit of banter
you've got to lighten up, girl
lighten that load

Girl:
sorry im just unpacking
have u gone to visit the canadiansss

Me:
canadianssss? oh!! you mean the canadians.
yeah i been there. done that. smoked it. drank it. cooked it for dinner.
but that's not important right now.

Girl:
it is!!
i wanna go

Me:
what's important is you and me and that sexy black dress you wore that one time.
or was it a scarf? i dont recall.
either way it was sexy as all hell

Girl:
ohhhh joeelll
well whats important is that i want to go
and u should comeee so i dont have to drive alone

Me:
or you could just listen to a book on tape

Girl:
booo

Me:
it works wonders and that way i wouldn't have to sit through a long lousy car ride with you

Girl:
my mom does that
thats not entertaining
road trips r sooo fun

Me:
thinking about one with you makes me suicidal but i know absolutely what you mean
i like the feeling of the wind in my hair
and the sounds of the open road
AMERICA!

Girl:
hahahahhaha
well actually its half america
half canada

Me:
tomatoe tomahtoe
i hate tomatoes
but i like you
girl, you don't even know
you don't even know the half of it
and i won't tell the other half!
listen why don't you just stay at your college and i'll stay at mine okay?
i can't take this shit any more
i'm stressed and i got the runs
and now i got to run
i'll talk to you later grrrrrrrrl

Girl:
ohhh boy
hahaha
enjoyyy crazyy
if u ever reconsider
let me know im thinking of going in feb

Me:
i might be dead by then

Girl:

welll hopefully not

Me:
i'll let you know
stay beautiful grlllll
keep smiling

Girl:
bye

3 comments:

  1. PUT THAT IN YOUR PEACE PIPE AND PUBLISH IT IN YOUR GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. DID SHE EVER FIND OUT THAT YOU ARE YOU?
    Joel, beware the dangers of giving Jordan access to your Facebook. He's a devil and I would know! ~mlk

    ReplyDelete
  2. or you could just listen to a book on tape

    I had to stop reading at that point, because laughing in the middle of a lecture would be a poor decision.

    -SaiLoRBoi

    ReplyDelete