The Story of what happens when John goes to Latin America for ISP (International Studies Program) next spring, by Jordan and Roommate John
It is a hot latina night. John is brooding in a smoky Asian-LatinAmerican fusion club, smoking one of those long cigarettes. The air is thick, sultry, and a hot haze hangs over the haze.
Through the haze, John spots a flash of red, a hot, LatinAmerican red. Then, a leg. An arm. And then-- that face! That dress! John is filled with a longing, a lust the depth of the Amazon. He sees the woman in the red dress, his latinAmerican queen of the Amazon! He is filled with desire as he gazes and she sways in her sultry sultriness. Their eyes meet-- he looks at her, she at him, they at each other! It's like eye sex basically. He knows he can wait no longer.
He takes a white rose from a vase on the table, and sticks it through his thick moostache in a gesture of manliness, like a sexy Asian/Latin American fusion mating call. He swivels across the ballroom, swaying like a palm tree in the breeze. She notices him and is a little weirded out but mostly turned on by the swaying palm tree. John, wearing a fine Italian suit of black suede, extracts the rose from his moostache.
"A beautiful rose, for a beautiful lady," he growls, taking in the hot Latin American musk of the woman in the red dress. "OH seniorrrrrr," Juanita purrs, overcome with desire, "I didn't know Asians could grow such thick moostaches!" John raises a sultry eyebrow, beckoning her hotly. "I didn't know women could grow such thick moostaches!" he groans, whirling her onto the floor.
They dance, dance like everyone is watching, because they are watching. The club is lit aflame by the hot passion of the dancers, and the erotic sound of the bongos. "Juanita, let's get out of here," John moans, tugging at her moostache. "OH seniorrrrr," Juanita rasps, "Where do we going?" "Come to my jungle bungalo," says John.
And so they escape into the hot night, running across the sands of Latin America with the speed of a mongoose. They slow down on the beach, strolling sensuously amongst the moon, the stars, and some tiny lizards. "Why don't we lay down upon the sands," says John, "and gaze upon the stars, or as we say in Asian, shingshing." And so they lay, the sexual tension escalating like an escalator, or neutrons in a nuclear reactor. John turns, desire spilling out like magma from a hot LatinAmerican volcano, or an Asian volcano. Either one is good. The sillhouettes of the lovers are intertwined like a lanyard of love, or like two palm trees. John leans in for the kiss.
And then, a voice in the darkness! "Oh my god it's so sandy here, FML! I can't read my Financial Times in the dark." A pause, and then, recognition. "LEIGH?!" shrieks John into the night, like a shrieking animal. "Ugh, I gotta go, I have to write a cover letter," Leigh whispers, disappearing into the night.
John turns back to Juanita, her musk lingering in the air, smelling like sand and quesadillas. "Where were we, my latinAmerican sweet?" murmers, leaning in once again for a passionate, lusty kiss. Then, out of the darkness, a voice!
"Hey guys, what are you doing." "GARY?!!!!!!!" squawks John, breaking the silence of the night, like one may break a vase or something else made of glass. The voice says: "Oh hey John, Gabe and I are getting dumplings you wanna come?" John groans into the night, despairing like a jackal. "GARRRRYRYRYYYRYRYRYRY" he says, like a boy in the depths of puberty. "Oh, okay, I'll see you later," says Gary, slinking off into the night, leaving a snail-like trail of mucus behind him.
John turns back again, Juanita is impatient. "SENIORRRR! I cannot wait any longerrrrrrr." John says: "Oh, my darrrrrling!" swooping down upon her, lips apart, moostache grinding against her moostache like two pieces of sandpaper. They are locked in a passionate embrace, more passionate than a tornado! Or a summer squall!
Then, out of the shadows, another voice, rising quick and unintelligably like a lemur. "Heyjohnyouwannagetsomechickenandrice?" sputters Jae. "What?!" says John. "JohnI'mreallyhungrylet'sgogetsomechickenandricecomeon," "Oh, I have some work to....OKAY!" says John, getting up quickly from the sand, dusting himself off.
"But Seniorrrr!" cries Juanita, furrrious. John says: "Schwarma calls! We'll always have Asia/Latin American fusion. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to the club. We got it back tonight." Juanita howls, "But what about us?!" John looks back coldly, "I've got a job to do. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Juanita, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of schwarma in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid."