Part of this complete breakfast

The premises of breakfast cereal commercials fall into two major categories:

1. Someone in the commercial is trying to steal the cereal
2. Someone in the commercial is a fuckin IDIOT

Let's take a look. First, the commercials in which someone is trying to steal the cereal:

Cookie Crisp



The Cookie Crisp wolfs gives me the creeps. I wouldn't want him trying to nab my cereal either.

Lucky Charms



Lucky, nobody likes a tease. No one's going to feel bad for you because the kids are always after your Lucky Charms, because you're just ASKING FOR IT. I mean, can you blame the kids for chasing after you-- the cereal is DELICICIOUS, and you're just prancing around with it right under their noses. Either give the kids the cereal or don't. Stop dicking around.


Fruity Pebbles



I can't decide if I want Barney to get the cereal or Fred to keep it. Frankly, I wish there was some way for neither of them to get it, because I'm not a huge fan of either of them.


Peanut Butter Crunch



Peanut Butter Crunch is the best. I hope the Captain is ALWAYS successful in getting it back.

Now, for the Idiot parade:

Reese's Puffs Cereal



Seriously, tweenaged Vanessa Hudgens? People have been saying that they ate Reese's for breakfast for decades and you STILL don't know that they mean Reese's Puff Cereal? Seriously?

Cinnamon Toast Crunch



Man, adults can be such oafs can't they? Will they EVER understand why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch? I guess not.


Apple Jacks



I'm trying to figure out who is supposed to be dumber in this commercial-- the boys or the girls? They seem to be equally ignorant.