A Very Ashley XMAS: Highlights

How was YOUR study session?

Sweet dreams, my friend.

Don't worry, I'm sure the exam won't be that hard.
And she's OUT. COLD.
Who cares about international finance anyway?
The square root of 4x cubed is....zzzzz
She clearly just gave up.

Iphone pic

Taken on the corner of Broadway and 14th

Check out this fucking juxtaposition

The beautiful and majestic Christmas Tree placed centrally and importantly underneath the iconic Washington Square arch.


The shittiest fucking Menorah in New York, seemingly created from the same material as the piece of shit fence used during construction of the park.


Happy Hanukkah, guys!

#1

My new personal project is to document every student who comes to the library or study room, sets up their work, and promptly falls asleep. This is perhaps the most important research I'll do all semester.

Arty iPhone pic

Taken with my iPhone on West 4th street.

Movie by the great Alex Gallitano! Starring me!

Check out Alex's website. He is a dear friend of mine and a great director/photographer/dude.

My new arts

OBEY GARY

Remember this? I don't know if I ever put this up on BFFL... In any case, I want it here. This is my great-grandfather Jack and I.

Give every child in America a chance.
Give every child in America a bubble.

"Get your bubbles, forget your troubles."

13 Halloween Goals (Ghouls)

1. Get the most candy.
2. Scare 50 mortals.
3. Drink some witch's brew
4. Carve a pumpkin
5. Go on a haunted hay ride!
6. Party with a zombie
7. Cast a spell on a beautiful lady
8. Ding dong ditch
9. See a black cat! Walk under a ladder...
10. Howl at the moon
11. Practice the dark arts
12. Play a trick on someone!
13. Have the best Howlween ever!

Poemz

I was wondering
if you'd like to--
maybe--
I think you're--
never mind.

I love you
so much
I want to
read you
someone else's poems

When you kissed me
I felt alive
When you left me
I wished I wasn't

I kissed you
in the dark--
well,
at least
I thought
it was you.

The LORD
giveth
and the LORD
taketh a-SYLVIA WHY?!

I tried
to tell her
my feelings--
instead
I insulted
her mother

Last night
was like
Doctor Doolittle 2
in that
I wish both
had never happened

Your love
is like a
freeze pop
so sweet
and so temporary

They said
"Where'd you find
such a great girl?"
He said
"Internet."

A kiss is
a dealbreaker
and a heartbreaker
when it's with him
and not me.

You said
you'd never
leave me.
You said
a lot of things.

A Dumber World

Hey guys, just a heads up: in the weeks and decades to come I'll be making light of the webcomic, A Softer World. The truth is I really admire the work on that site, but the temptation to satirize it is just too strong. I'm only human!

Check out A Softer World, for future reference...

New material

A poem
is a poem
is a tragedy

He said,
"I cry myself
to sleep sometimes."
She said,
"I want you."

"Where have
you been
all my life?"
he said.
She said,
"Hiding."

Wipe that
frown off
your face--
put it
on mine

We were hot
and heavy
She was more
heavy
than hot

You were
the apple
of my eye--
I always
preferred
legumes

Sad Horny
meet Lonely Desperate
you'll get
along
well

I'll love you
forever
maybe

He lost
his virginity
then
he lost
conciousness

Your embrace
is like
a dream--
actually,
it was
a dream

Mind-blowing.

B is for Bronwen

My buddy Bronwen has got a teriffic website, check it out! HERE

She has photos, musings, more photos, drawings, and other stuff! It's like Best Friend for Lifelong but qualitative!

Bronwen is quite a lady. She is probably one of the top five whistlers I've never heard. You should give her your support.

Pomes

Scissors are
for cutting paper,
silly.

I left
my heart
in Brooklyn,
and my
sweatshirt.

Sylvia-- why
did you
leave me?
And why
did you
take the
blender?

You make
me feel
so young
let's play
Legos

You are
as cute
as a
button
I love
buttons

I'd like to
major in you
and minor in us

Holding your
hand
is nicer
than a lot
of other things

You touch me
here
I touch you
there
We make each other
happy

Girl
Can't you see?
You're in love with
A jawline
Not a man

Your hair
Your eyes
Your smile!
Oh!
Is this love?
Or indigestion?

Poems by Me, Jordan

Sylvia-- sometimes
I think: what would
I do if you weren't
here?
Then I stop
thinking about it.

When you left I said,
"Crying is for babies."
So I acted
Like a man.

Sylvia-- your
Hair curls
Like some
Nice, curly,
Twisty thing.

Write me a poem,
she said, then
I'll break your heart.
Deal?
Or no deal?

Love is serious
business. All
transactions final.

"I'll never
love another,"
he said,
lying to himself.

He leaned in
For a kiss
She leaned in
For the salt shaker.

"You are so
sweet and loveable,"
she said.
"You remind me
of my dog."

You are as
beautiful as
a flower
and as
promiscuous.

I want to
know you biblically
Let's read
the Bible
together.

My heart
is in
your hands.
Slimy,
isn't it?

Love is a puzzle--
What's a twelve letter word for
Unbearable pain?

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING. STOP STARING.

J4JA

Guys, sign this petition:

http://justiceforjazzartists.org/petition/

Helps get our wonderful NYC jazz musicians the benefits they need.

Thanksssss

-JORDAN

Another New York Story

GUYS CHECK OUT MY FLICKR I HAVE LOTS OF NEW PHOTOS. BYE!

Roommate Situation

NYC

GO TO MY FLICKR YOU CRAZY ANIMALS.

Spy pics

Strangers I saw in the park.

since feeling is first
e.e. cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
- the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other; then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

Doctor in Brooklyn: Why are you depressed, Alvy?
Alvy's Mom: Tell Dr. Flicker.
[Young Alvy sits, his head down - his mother answers for him]
Alvy's Mom: It's something he read.
Doctor in Brooklyn: Something he read, huh?
Alvy at 9: The universe is expanding.
Doctor in Brooklyn: The universe is expanding?
Alvy at 9: Well, the universe is everything, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything!
Alvy's Mom: What is that your business?
[she turns back to the doctor]
Alvy's Mom: He stopped doing his homework!
Alvy at 9: What's the point?
Alvy's Mom: What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!
Doctor in Brooklyn: It won't be expanding for billions of years yet, Alvy. And we've gotta try to enjoy ourselves while we're here!

Thank YOU Killsonic!

If anyone wants to know what I looked like just a few minutes ago....



It was something like that.

Why? Because KILLSONIC LEFT A COMMENT ON MY LAST POST! HOLY EFF. So I got excited.

KillSonic, if you're reading this: Hey, you made my day! You guys are even cooler now! I really hope it was actually you(s) who left that comment.

If it wasn't Killsonic who left that comment, I've prepared a message for the Random Person who did:

Hey, Random Person, why so mean? Really, why? Why trick me? You're a meanie.

I've been very busy lately learning how to think, making lifelong friends, and having the best days I'll ever have ever ever, which leaves little time for blogging. Sorry. I'll get to it soon, because I've got all sorts of witticisms to share with you all. Ttyl, bye!

Killsonic

Real cool band Killsonic kicking ass in Union Square this evening. Check out my flickr for pics.

Check it out

Pop Culture in the Age of Obama

By KURT ANDERSEN
August 5, 2009

The term “pop culture” appeared around 1960, just as its meaning became confused. High-culture up-and-comers were embracing pop imagery and tropes with a vengeance, and the best and brightest creators of entertainment were suddenly producing work of thrilling sophistication and complexity. It was also the coming-of-age moment for the first baby boomers, a cohort defined by its television-saturated upbringing and unparalleled level of college education — a generation, in other words, unapologetic in its love of commercial pop even as it put on arty airs....

Read more here

Hey, remember when we were young and crazy?

Election night was one of the finest of my young life.

In honor of that memory, here is Obama's article in the New York Times today:

Why We Need Health Care Reform

By BARACK OBAMA

OUR nation is now engaged in a great debate about the future of health care in America. And over the past few weeks, much of the media attention has been focused on the loudest voices. What we haven’t heard are the voices of the millions upon millions of Americans who quietly struggle every day with a system that often works better for the health-insurance companies than it does for them... (click here to read the rest)

Hong Kong Debut

Filmed and edited by: Jordan and Caleb

Music: "Major Label Debut (Fast)" by Broken Social Scene

Hong Kong

I'm back you guys!

Go to my flickr for photos of the trip.

Act XVIII: Applebottom jeans. Boots with the shame.

By Jordan, in honor of Hallie

What
is
this
feeling
I feel!
I've got so much feeling
I could just--
Maybe if I--
Suppose we could--
It's no use.
I am fated
To a world
Of devastation!
Alienation!
Constipation!
In which I live
Like a castaway
On an island
Doomed to sit
And decay
Doomed to fear
And dismay!
I fear the world
I fear myself
I fear--
The days drag
Like some long
Hot
Dragging thing
I find myself alone
With only pain
As my company--
So much to do
And so little time--
Wait a minute
Strike that
Reverse it--
Reverse everything!
Take me back
To the days
Of laughter and youth
We were free and uncouth
We were--
Naive!
I look in the mirror--
I smash it!
I look at my wrist--
I slash it!
I look to the skies--
I see a little cloud that looks like a rabbit!
It makes me sick!
It makes me feel...
I know this feeling
Yes, I know now--
I know it well--
This is loneliness!
A bicycle built for one
The sound of a sole hand clapping
The taste of my bitter tears!
Tastes like chicken!
Now questions, questions, questions
Rattle in my brain!
Drive me insane!
Baby you can drive my car--
Of anguish
Of misery
Of grief!
Is there no relief?
Why have you gone?
What are you doing?
If chickens had lips would they whistle?
I find myself with no answers
No joy
No happiness
No hope--
Only the dream
Of the day
When you come home!
I send this letter
My last resort--
From my heart to yours
Dear Maria,
Please, return--
Lol,
Me