Leighodore

JORDAN:
leigh it's jordan
i SAID
LEIGH
IT'S
JORDAN
leigh don't make me come over there!

LEIGH:
tone it down
hi
i was presenting my presentation

JORDAN:
yeah i'll believe that when i see it
and since i'll never see it
i don't believe it!
you're on thin ice young lady
you know what happens to people on thin ice?
they fall in! it's cold in there! it's very unpleasant!

LEIGH:
jargonnn.

JORDAN:
it's spelled "jordan"

LEIGH:
funny

JORDAN:
glad you think so
but that doesn't mean you're off the hook!
and i mean that in every conceivable way

LEIGH:
off the hook for?

JORDAN:
your behavior
now, i'm a forgiving type of person
so i'm going to let you get out of this mess
all you have to do
is
kiss my ring
just...kiss it!
well, are you going to or not?

LEIGH:
well, i dont think i can now

JORDAN:
well, i don't think i can forgive you then!
and you know what happens when i don't forgive people, right leigh????!1

LEIGH:
im curious

JORDAN:
i pummel them sharply about the head and shoulders!
what do you say to that, leighodore?

LEIGH:
pummel?

JORDAN:
yes, it means "hit"
"repeatedly"
"in a manner that is SUPER PAINFUL"
"and SUPER UNPLEASANT"

LEIGH:
pft

JORDAN:
do i not inspire FEAR in your very SOUL?
LEIGHODORE!
do i not ROCK you to your very CORE
do i not bow to your chicka wow wow?!1

JORDAN:
well leigh, this has been thoroughly dissapointing
i'm not angry with you i'm just furious
good day, sir!
i SAID GOOD DAY!!1

It's Earth Day!

People planting and watching people plant in Union Square today.

Go Earth!

As much as I dislike clowns...

I took this photo today and made what I think is a cool image out of it. Look!

(I am sorry Susi! I realize this image must send waves of fear all through you.)

Wednesday night/ Thursday Morning

"Yao is good, Yao is good...yeah he's Asian but he's also really good"- John on the phone with his cousin, referring to NBA star Yao Ming

Check out telephoto-eye

Hey guys, I don't do this often, but now I'm going to tell you what to do.

Check out my friend Hana's blog! She took these cool and horrifying photos of the Tea Party when they had a rally in Boston last weekend.

JUST CLICK. IT'S SO EASY.

And here's a sample so you know why you should look:

Back by popular demand

A very loyal BFFL reader (.....my mom) requested that I re-post this video that I made for my journalism class a little more than a year ago. I just watched it again and I still like it so I have decided to oblige this very loyal reader. Enjoy!

Act XX(X): The Love Nest Monster

By Partners in Rhyme

I return,

harrowed and haunted

by my memories

which flash

before my eyes

like flashlights

flash

like lightning

flash

like a woman's bosoms on Mardi Gras

I wander.

Not all who wander are lost

but I am!

Lost

in our love, a haze

in our love, ablaze

in a maze of distant days

the bed where we made love!

the couch where we made love!

the sink where we made love!

We made love

like two doves in the night

flapping their wings like

their hearts depended on it

we made love like like like like

like a tornado!

like an earthquake!

like something equally disastrous
but still sexy

we made love like fire ants

our love was a conflagration

and you were the arsonist

we made love like this:

Here's the room

where i first said i love you

and here is the room

where you first said you love me

and there is the room

where you made love with him

and this, this is the house of lies.

Maria

you have made this casa

a casa de pena

and in it i am a ghost

with an invisible heart

wondering

how can you break something

that you can't even see?

End.

Jordan the Spy

Washington Square Park 4/15/2010

Working at Washington Square News

A conversation I recently had via text with WSN. (I'm the green bubble)

John's Post-it

"Stop Facebook" is my favorite point.

I cannot tell you how many post-it notes like this I've made.

Gaaraarry

"Have you watched Cartoon Network lately? It's wild. It makes no sense." - Gary, on kids these days.

What Roommate John just said

*It is 6:35 P.M., John sits at his chair watching people go by on the street.*

"I'm just going to just start talking to them. 'Hey, you have nice skin. You have nice butt. I like your sunglasses. Give me a shot I'm desperate.' Where do we meet these girls, Jordan! I don't get it. I'm sure they don't all have boyfriends, especially the ones that go to NYU. I mean, come on, they're all gay guys there."

Oh, Stern

Courtesy of Roommate John

BBQ?

Throughout my life, there have been some random characters who have affected me in small ways.

Last year at school the woman who worked in the Emerson Cafe was important to me because of the way she said "Everything bagel cream cheese!" when I made my order. It made me laugh and laugh. I loved Everything Bagel Cream Cheese Lady.

Earlier this year, What You Having To Drink Lady came into my life. She works in the Dunkin Donuts downstairs and the way she says, "What you having to drink baby?" when I'm waiting on line is often a highlight of my day.

Some characters evoke not just laughter but sympathy.

The man in the photo you see is BBQ guy. Every day, the whole day, in every weather, he stands either on Broadway or University Place handing out take-out menus for this BBQ restaurant in the East Village. All day he tries to hand out these menus to passers-by and says "BBQ?" as he reaches toward them.

I don't know why it makes me so sad, really. I mean, there are surely people I see in New York on a daily basis who have it worse than BBQ guy. But his situation gets me more than any other. Maybe it's because I have never heard him say anything other than "BBQ?" or because he's always wearing those jeans and that hat and that shirt. Maybe it's because I imagine the boredom and frustration he must feel doing the same monotonous task all the time.

Most times I go by BBQ Guy I take a menu. I'll probably never go to the BBQ restaurant, but I do it because I feel bad for the man for reasons that I can't quite explain.

Well thank goodness for that

"New Research Reveals that People Who Are Happy at Work Are 50% More Productive and 180% Happier Overall!"

- something I read on the Internet

PILLOW FIGHT!!!

Hundreds of people hit me with pillows while I tried to take photos this Saturday in Union Square.

Monday in the park

Roommate John

"Assets is equal to liability plus equity."- the first thing John said when he woke up today

Henry is a good turtle. He lives down the hall.

Ashley